The Unspoken Rules That Decide Who Wins and Who Loses
I recently had the pleasure of reading the book "48 Laws of Power" by Robert Greene. I by no means wanted to acquire power to control the people around me, it is just by means of curiosity that I wanted to learn how power in society is obtained and sustained. How certain individuals or groups rise to power and decide the course of events in their circle of influence.
The book didn't disappoint and contained tons of actionable insights that serve the title of the book. When executed precisely, the laws of power can indeed create dangerously powerful figures. The laws are ruthless and frankly too much for the average person like me, but might be suitable for people in weakened positions that seldom feel lost drifting aimlessly with no control over their surroundings.
Even if you have no desire or need for such power, the laws can teach how to be on the defensive against people who are trying to establish authority or power over you. By exposing the mindset and tricks of the powerful, you will learn how to fend for yourself and how to react to individuals aiming to control you.
Here I will present a summary of the laws as I understood them. Some laws I don't agree with or find unnecessarily ruthless, I omitted. You don't have to put into practice every single one of these laws to be in power. Different circumstances and different people require different approaches. Understand the laws and apply as necessary.
Some laws are conflicting to one another. People and circumstances are unique, each requiring a different approach. Your role is to identify which law yields the best results in any given situation. You have to be versatile in your approach and apply the knowledge that you gained here in a strategic way.
Also know that every rule and law has exceptions. The laws presented here are general guidelines and must not be followed blindly. You have to assess the situation carefully and see whether the laws apply or whether it is a case of anomaly.
Without further ado, let us begin.
1. Never Outshine the Master
Respect hierarchy. Don't try to appear better or smarter than your immediate boss or manager. They might feel threatened or insecure and will try to sabotage you. Give the impression that they are more brilliant than you are. Deep inside, you know that this is not true. You will get your chance to overthrow them at the right moment. You have to be patient.
2. Work with Your Enemies, Beware of Your Friends
If you had the choice of working with a friend or an enemy, go for the latter. Friendship dynamics are unstable. They are not based on mutual interest or benefit. Friendship can easily turn into feud or betrayal when business is at stake. Enemies are predictable and controllable. Their motives are clear and understood. There is no emotional attachment with enemies. It's pure interest.
Additionally, enemies have more to prove than friends. They will work harder because they know that the only thing that will keep the cooperation alive are results. People want to feel that they deserve their fortunes. They prefer a hard-earned outcome than an easily handed gain.
Friends may take you for granted and may not be as committed or productive as they need to be. Gifts can be oppressive. If you offer a friend a job at your business, they will be thankful but will be burdened by your kindness. They will feel that they were chosen because of their connection to you, not their merits. They will seek to get rid of this burden as soon as they can.
Also, the problem with working with friends is that it will limit your power. You will always have to consider your friendship, which affects your decision-making and judgment. You will have much more power over a stranger because there is no emotional attachment involved.
"Men are more ready to repay an injury than a benefit, because gratitude is a burden and revenge a pleasure." – TACITUS
3. Hide Your Intentions
Don't be overly open. Reveal to others as little information as possible. In your pursuit of power, you must remain unpredictable. If people can read you easily and figure out your next move, they will no longer fear you. Fear is one of the main components of power. If you are not feared, you lose the ability to exert power and control.
4. Less Words is Better
Express your feelings, thoughts, and emotions in as few words as possible. Power is a game of appearance. The more vague and general you are, the more sophisticated you appear. This applies to verbal, written, and physical communications. Don't be overly excited or bothered about anything. Your expressions must be subtle and multi-faceted. When you speak less, there is less chance of errors or for you to say something stupid. Also, with fewer words, you reduce the risk of revealing information. Master the art of short concise answers. Let others do the talking and you do the listening.
5. Create a Reputation and Guard It
Your reputation is the most important asset that you have in the game of power. Make yourself known for one or two sterling qualities. It can be as empowering as honesty, generosity, or ruthlessness but must not be a weakening one, like forgiveness for example. Once you establish your reputation, live by it and protect it at all costs.
In the lines of this advice, use reputation to attack your enemies. Undermine the reputation of your competitors and you will destroy them for good. Instead of criticizing doings or actions, attack the personality. Highlight how your enemy's certain actions violate their image. Reputation takes a long time and effort to build. Once scratched, it will be extremely difficult to recover.
6. Court Attention
Make yourself as known as possible. Make sure that you are always in the spotlight. It is essential that you remain at the center of things to rise into power. If people don't know about your existence or forget you, your influence and control will be diminished.
In the pursuit of being known, consider being controversial and different from others. Distinguish yourself from others with unique ideas and thoughts. Criticize or even attack powerful and known figures to put yourself in the spotlight. Be unexpected and arouse curiosity in the circles.
7. Let Others Do Your Work
Time is limited and there is only so little of it for you to materialize your objectives. The last thing you want to do is splash time on doing what others can do for you at a cheaper cost. Your time is too valuable to be spent on routine tasks. Hire people, delegate tasks, or outsource. Focus on the grand scheme of things and find ways to realize your vision.
8. Influence with Actions, Not Words
Resist the urge to discuss things with people. Avoid arguments and open discussions. If you want to prove something, demonstrate it. Provide evidence, proof, stats, facts, or anything else to support your case. Prepare visually appealing material and throw it at people. Make it a habit of appearing knowledgeable, experienced, and organized.
9. Stick with Successful People, Avoid the Unfortunate
In the game of power, the people you associate yourself with will eventually affect and determine your status. If you surround yourself with losers, you will become a loser. Linger around where the powerful are.
10. Keep Others Depending on You
If you want to obtain power over the people around you, they must need you unconditionally. If you are not easily replaceable, they will fear losing you and will seek your approval and acceptance at all times. It is better to be feared than loved. Fear you can control, love you can't.
11. Give Before You Take
Learn the art of gifting and unsolicited acts of kindness. Give someone a gift, do them a favor, or help them overcome an obstacle. It doesn't have to be something big. You might be surprised what a simple cup of coffee can do. Once you do the favor, you will gain slight leverage over them and have the upper hand. They may not be completely your ally, but you will have them on your side when needed.
12. If You Need Help from Someone, Appeal to Their Interest
There will be occasions where you will need help from those more powerful than you or in higher positions. When doing so, don't remind them of your good deeds, qualities, or past achievements. That is not to say that the past doesn't matter, but you will get much greater results by appealing to their interest, offering something for the future. People are more interested in what you can do for them than what you actually did.
13. Gather Information
Gather as much information about the people around you and their plans in inconspicuous fashion. In the game of power, information is key. The more you know about the future, the better you can control it. Make sure that information-collecting efforts are not pronounced.
14. Don't Be Too Much Available
In economics, it is well known that scarcity creates value. Don't make yourself accessible and available all the time. Others must feel that you are rare and difficult to reach. Disappear when your presence is not strictly required. Don't reply immediately to messages and emails. Appear always busy and occupied.
15. Don't Be Predictable
Humans are creatures of habits. We yearn for the unknown and get excited by surprises. By being predictable, you lose the excitement of others and become boring. It is very important that others don't know your next moves. Be predictable in results but not in your actions or methods.
16. Don't Isolate Yourself
I said that you should not be too available, but keeping yourself completely isolated and disconnected from others is as dangerous. If you build a fortress around you, you become an easily identifiable target.
17. Don't Take Sides
You might find yourself sometimes in a situation of two or more competing powers or camps. Usually, you should side with the stronger camp, but it is much wiser to not commit fully as you can't be 100% sure who is going to dominate. Even if you do, committing to one side will deprive you of whatever little power remains from the other group. Tables can turn at any moment and a shift in power will cause you damage. Play diplomacy and never fully commit to anyone.
18. Appear Less Intelligent Than Your Enemy
Get your enemies to believe that they are smarter than you. This will lead them to lower their guards and never suspect your intentions.
19. Concede When You Can't Fight
If you find yourself in a losing position, surrender and admit defeat. Conserve whatever remaining power is left. This will give you time to recover and rebuild yourself. If you hopelessly continue to fight, you might end up losing everything.
20. Concentrate on One Strong Source of Power
It is better to draw power from one single big source than multiple smaller ones. Intensity beats extensivity every single day. Identify the strongest source of power in your organization and concentrate your efforts in that direction. That is not to say that you shouldn't seek power elsewhere, but know where to concentrate your biggest efforts.
21. Appear to Work Effortlessly
Give the impression that everything is effortless to you and that results flow in naturally. Be known to be a genius rather than a workaholic. Never seem to be working too hard.
22. Be Noticed
Make sure that your work and results are noticed indirectly. Don't talk about yourself and your achievements — let your results do it for you or let others offer you the publicity freely. If you remain in the dark, your chances of rising in power will be diminished.
23. Never Be the Bearer of Bad News
Try to be the one that always brings the good news, never the bad. In legends and myths, the king kills the messenger that brings bad news. There is some truth to this. Make it a habit of yours to announce the happy news.
24. Gift People Higher in the Ranks
This is a slick psychological trick that puts you on par with someone higher than you in the hierarchy. By gifting a more powerful person, you are essentially saying, "We are on the same level!" This gesture can help shape the dynamics in the relationship and, when done publicly, it changes your perceived image in the eyes of others and puts you on equal terms with the more powerful.
25. Never Show That You Are Bothered by Anything
Control is the main ingredient of power. Your ability to control your emotions and actions dictates how well you go through tough times and downfalls. Don't give your enemies the pleasure of seeing you break down. Maintain your composure at all times.
26. Don't Be Overly Excited by Anything
This goes in sync with the previous law of not being bothered by anything. Success and accomplishments should come naturally to you. Even if you're thrilled to the sky, hide it from others and only display subtle emotions as if you were confident of the results.
27. Don't Hurry Things
Never seem to be in a hurry. Give the impression that you have all the time in the world. People in a hurry lose control and without control you lose power. Master the art of perfect timing.
28. Avoid Stepping into a Great Man's Shoes
Emulating the success of others is difficult. There is a misconception that if a person succeeds doing A, B, and C, then you can repeat the success by following the exact same steps. That is not necessarily true. Every success story has its circumstances and special moments. You can't just copy a successful plan. Create your own success. Present yourself not as a successor but as an entrepreneur.
29. Don't Change Too Much at Once
We are creatures of habit. We love what we know and what we do and feel alarmed when big changes strike. Speak and preach change as much as you want, but do it in small digestible steps. Too much change at once will make people uncomfortable toward you.
