Practical Tips For Dealing with Difficult Team Members

We have all been there at least once in our careers: having to work with a difficult, uncooperative, or unproductive team member. It is remarkable how one bad apple can ruin the whole experience even if you love your job and wake up excited every day just to do it.

If you are struggling to deal with one of those "Bad Apples", you are not alone. It is common and happens, so don't feel terrible about it. In this guide, I will share my own personal experience on the topic and how I learned to cope with those types of coworkers.

Some of the methods I learned from others while the rest I had to figure out myself. Handling such situations requires patience and emotional intelligence. It is a process with a lot of trial and error. Every person is unique and requires special treatment. My hope is that by the end of this guide, you will have enough tools under your arsenal to cope with every type.

I categorized the stereotypes based on their traits or behaviors. By examining the different aspects, you will learn how to handle each type.

1. The Slacker

The slacker is always late in delivering results. This puts you in undesirable situations with others or forces you to work harder to compensate for their work. Even worse is when your tasks depend solely on their output. So how to handle such a situation?

• Break large tasks into smaller ones: Sometimes slacking is not intentional but rather due to lack of organizational skills. Help them by breaking complex tasks into small chunks of deliverables.
• Let them choose the deadlines: Slackers always blame tight deadlines for late deliveries, so ask them to set the duration themselves and make it in writing. This way they will have no excuse later.
• Extend deadlines without their knowledge: Ask them how much they need to deliver something and then add additional time to create a new deadline. Commit the new deadline to others without their knowledge. In this case, if they are late for any reason, you are on the safe side.
• Follow up regularly: Be insistent and follow up as soon as a work is due. Don't let things pile up.
• Don't cover up: It might initially be tempting to cover up for them just to get by and get things done, but this will backfire in the long run and you will find yourself doing extra work all the time.

2. The Negative Attitude

This person always transmits pessimism, criticism, or hostility to the environment, creating an electric and unhealthy tension within the team. You and other team members don't quite understand the motives behind this behavior and find it difficult to be productive in their presence.

First, you need to know that more often than not, this is not personally directed towards you. They may have issues going on in their life or had a troubled upbringing that manifests in their actions. They feel the need to vent their problems and negative thoughts and find no other way but to project them to the people around them. Here is what you should do:

• Depending on the situation, you may need to cut off all personal interactions and make it strictly professional or try to get closer to them and be their friend. Some people are best dealt with at a distance while others need emotional support. See what works for you.
• Keep a positive mindset and don't get drawn down the negativity rabbit hole. Mindsets are contagious. If you can maintain a positive attitude no matter what, others will pick up on that.
• Pay attention: persuasion and influence begin by listening and understanding. Pay attention to their ideas and thoughts no matter how dark or destructive they are.
• Include, don't isolate: ask them how to solve a certain problem and get their opinion about things. If they actively start participating in conversations, they will have less to complain about. Engagement is the way to go in most cases.

3. The Credit Taker

This is the guy that always tries to take credit for other people's work or exaggerate their involvement in teamwork. These types of people usually feel insecure and don't have confidence in their own abilities. They feel a consistent need for position reassurance and validation even at the expense of others. This is one of the dominant signs of narcissism and fixing such coworkers is going to be a challenge. This is what you should be doing:

• If you really want to play it dirty, you can try jumping ahead of them to announce achievements or milestones. The first to bring the good news usually takes most of the credit. Don't be that person unless you really have to.
• Communicate clearly to the people who need to notice your accomplishments, preferably in writing. Feel free to include "The Credit Taker" in those communications.
• If you feel comfortable about it, confront the person directly and ask them why they took credit for the things that you did. This can work but it can also create additional tension depending on the target.
• Segregate roles and responsibilities clearly and accurately. By separating scope of work, you create a borderline that makes it difficult for the other person to claim undue credit.

4. The Backstabber

These two-faced individuals act friendly and harmless in your presence but don't miss an opportunity to undermine your credibility and stab you in the back.

They might feel threatened by you or have deep-rooted insecurities from their youth. Whatever the reasons, you have to be extremely careful when dealing with one of these. The following methods might work for you:

• Direct confrontation is an option that may not always lead to the desired results. The problem with backstabbers is that they really don't quite understand themselves. They think they know what they want and have a plan to get there, but when confronted directly they switch to denial mode as they find it difficult to justify themselves and their actions to others.
• Limit interactions to the bare minimum. Backstabbers feed on information. By cutting them off, you reduce the chance of getting caught in their web of manipulation and misrepresentation.
• Document everything just in case you have to expose the truth or ever find yourself in a defensive stance. You don't know when or where you might need this information to refute false accusations or misinformation spread about you.
• Use leverage to inhibit your target. If you know about a huge mistake they made or something in their past they would rather not let anyone discover, make sure that they know that you know about it and that you are holding their secrets deep inside.
• Build a strong network with other members in the organization to counter manipulation attempts. Let others constantly know about all the great things that you are doing. Spread the word and highlight your accomplishments as much as you can.
• Raise the matter to HR as a last resort. If nothing else works and their actions are being so disruptive and damaging, it may be time to involve higher authorities.

5. The Control Freak

Among all types of disruptive traits on this list, this is the least malicious in nature but extremely hard to cope with nonetheless. Control freaks don't necessarily have bad intentions, they just have trust issues and feel the need to micromanage everything. They don't trust others' abilities and like things to be done only their way.

• Control freaks usually act out of fear of failure. You can gradually earn their trust over time by proving your competence and validating your abilities. If you are new to the situation, give it some time before acting out.
• Understand that it is okay to let them decide on certain things. If this helps the productivity of the team and establishes a less tense workplace, then you may let it slide on the smaller things. For major tasks, you will need to be more forward.
• Define boundaries in a clear way. By agreeing beforehand on roles and responsibilities, you reduce the chance of a clash.
• Limit interactions as needed. By not giving too much information on what you are doing, there will be less chance of them interfering in your work.
• Practice proactive communication. In some cases, keeping them informed ahead of time alleviates the need for them to micromanage.
• Use "We" instead of "I". Phrases like "How should we solve this?" or "Should we do this?" establish an environment of equality and shift the dynamics of the relationship.
• Use distractions to turn their attention to what is important. Deviate their attention to the tasks that you don't mind their control and leave them out of the important things where you want things to go your way.

General Considerations:

1. Criticize Behavior, Not Personality: Don't attack a coworker's personality under any circumstance. Avoid putting labels on people. This deadly mistake kills any hope of reconciliation or redemption. Focus on behaviors and events instead.
2. Avoid Mirroring Negativity: You may be tempted to give them a taste of their own medicine. DON'T. This will only make things worse. It is not your job to correct people. Mistakes don't cancel each other. A mistake plus a mistake are two mistakes.
3. Increase Face-to-Face Interactions: Behind the screens, people tend to become the worst version of themselves. If someone tends to use emails or chats to be passive-aggressive or combative, try to meet them in person or via video call. This can defuse tension and eliminate misinterpretations.
4. Don’t Confront in Private if it’s Risky: If you really must confront your colleague, it is always recommended to have confrontation in the presence of a neutral third party. You may need witnesses in case things escalate or become heated.
5. Use Leverage Strategically: One of the most powerful tools anyone has in work, politics, and the corporate world is leverage. Hold something against your target and let them know about it. Reassure your target that you won’t be using the leverage against them. This situation allows you to control them and ensures that you will always be on their good side.