There are two types of self-confidence: external and internal.
An inside feeling of confidence about your own abilities. Internal confidence is all about what you feel and how you see yourself.
The projection of self-confidence to others. These are the things that you say and do to make others see you as a self-confident person.
In this article, I will discuss both types and show you how to boost your internal self-confidence and how to make others see you as a confident person.
Internal-confidence: How to feel more confident
1. Tell yourself that you are confident
Numerous psychology experiments have shown that people become what they define themselves to be. The way you define yourself dictates how you behave. This may sound stupid and silly but it really does work.
If you continuously tell yourself that you are a loser, you will become a loser. So the first step towards achieving self-confidence is for you to embrace that notion. Tell yourself that you are confident and that you want to act confident every day.
2. Recall your achievements
Self-confidence is a state of mind, something internal to you. It is up to you to feel confident and put yourself in that state of mind.
Keeping your achievements and accomplishments fresh in your mind boosts your confidence because it serves as a proof of concept that you made it before and can make it again.
3. Think about all the good things in your life
Be grateful for what you have. Ignore all the bad things going around you and try to focus on the good things.
Every morning when you wake up, list the good things happening for you. Don't be pessimistic and say that there is nothing good in your life. I don't care where you live and what is your life condition, there has to be something bright happening. As I mentioned earlier, it is all about the state of mind.
4. No effort is ever wasted
One of the primary reasons for the lack of self-confidence is the fear of failure. We don't want to fail so we choose not to try.
To combat this toxic notion, you need to remember that the most enriching and enlightening experiences involve failure. We learn the most when we fail, much more than when we succeed.
Don't be afraid of failure. No effort is ever wasted.
Remember that the most successful people have failed severely early on.
To combat the fear of failure, one has to recall how past obstacles and failures were overcome.
Remember how you managed to bounce from previous failures. This should reduce the fear of failure and boost your self-confidence.
5. Blessing in disguise
Think of all the situations or events that you thought were bad for you but turned out to be good.
It happens all the time to everyone. We get very upset because of something bad happening only to discover that it was a blessing in disguise.
The lesson to learn here is that what you may perceive as a disaster can actually turn out to be good for you. Get liberated from your fear and just go for it.
6. Care less about what others think
Another primary reason for the lack of self-confidence is the fear of rejection.
Rejection is a part of life. Don't be discouraged by it.
We tend to care so much about how others think of us, which leads to hesitation, fear of trying, and lack of self-confidence.
You will never be able to please everyone no matter how good you try. There will always be people who are impossible to please or have unchangeable suppositions about you.
7. Care less for the way you feel about yourself
For some people, lack of confidence stems from their own disbelief in their own abilities or lack of satisfaction in their work. Perfectionists are one example of such people. They are never satisfied with their own performances and think that others feel the same.
You need to know that others will probably very much love what you have to offer. Downplaying your abilities is detrimental to you. Believe in yourself more and be less critical of yourself.
8. Reduce social media consumption
Social media is toxic. It gives the wrong idea that people are happier and more successful than you, which can't be further from the truth. This leads to a lack of self-confidence and self-doubt.
Stop benchmarking yourself and your life to some momentarily short sparkling moments captured on camera by someone else that you know very little about.
9. Your thoughts and opinions matter
We have the wrong feeling that our thoughts are not important. People who lack self-confidence tend to downplay their opinions and assume that others don't want to know about them.
People want to hear what you think in the same way that you are interested to know what they think. Keep that in mind.
10. Get out of your comfort zone
Get regular exposure to situations that you are not familiar or comfortable with.
The first time will be definitely hard, but it will get easier with time. Every time you are out of your comfort zone, you gain more self-confidence. Eventually, it will become a habit and you will lose all fear of the unknown and unpredictable.
External self-confidence: How to project self-confidence
1. Sit comfortably
Your postures tell a lot about you. Confident people make themselves comfortable. If you want to project confidence, make sure that you show others that you are relaxed and comfortable.
2. Wear confidently
What that really means is that you should wear clothes that you are really comfortable with. Clothes play a very important role in achieving the right mindset for the person wearing them as well in influencing the person on the other end. Don't dress up as if you are trying to impress the people around you. Confident people don't care much for what others think and will wear whatever makes them comfortable.
3. Don't fidget or crack your knuckles
Such behaviors project nervousness and that is the opposite of self-confidence. Self-confident people rarely get nervous so make sure to avoid any anxiety gestures.
4. Walk as if you are on a mission
People can read into you by the way you walk. Avoid quick small steps. Maintain a perfectly straight back as you walk.
5. Control the pace of conversations
Another trait of confident people is their ability to command and lead. This is especially relevant in conversations. Take the lead in conversations and control the pace. Speak slowly but with a steady voice. Avoid vocal hesitation and use pauses. This requires practice but it is definitely achievable.
6. Convery, not convince
A very prevalent trait of confident people is their disinterest in convincing others with their own ideas, instead, they just convey their thoughts. Try less hard to convince others and just drop your ideas like bombs from a plane.